I am NOT my lupus

     Oooookie day. That hurt. A lot. On Wednesday, the dentist took out the two teeth farthest in the back on the bottom right. That actually went fairly well. The numbing stuff worked instantly, the teeth came out pretty easily. And the pain wasn't intolerable. I should have known it couldn't last.      Yesterday was not quite so nice and easy. She took out the back two on the top on the right. The first one was mostly ok. It was almost down to nothing in my mouth so she had to wiggle and push to get a purchase point on it. But it came out. However....the next one was an asshole. The root was SUPER long. She had to wiggle and pull and twist. Apply MORE of the numby stuff. Wiggle, pull, twist. Numby stuff. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. You get the picture. She had to put so much numby stuff in my mouth that she couldn't put any more. And towards the end of pulling the roots out of my eyeball (or so it seemed) the numby stuff just wasn't enough. Man,...

"My face hurts." "It's killing me!! BWAHAHAHA!!" This is my family... So, I got 2 teeth pulled yesterday. I was super nervous while I was waiting. I just had to keep reminding myself that this was a necessity. This was important to my overall health. This was the first step in my journey to a pain free and beautiful mouth. (Which makes me think of the dirty line, "You sure do got a purrty mouth..")  I just kept reminding myself that I'm doing the right thing. Posting all of this stuff on Facebook has been pretty helpful. I have people giving me such kind words of encouragement. I asked my dentist yesterday to tell me something, even if it means lying to me. I looked at her and asked her to tell me that my teeth are in such a condition that getting this done is just as important as going to my Nephrologist (Kidney doctor) or my Rheumatologist (Main Lupus guy) or my Pulmonologist (Lung Doctor) when I had Histoplasmosis. She let me know that sh...

Hello! I am now roughly 3 hours away from beginning my dental journey. I am so nervous right now I don't even want to go!! I'm scared about how much this is going to hurt. My teeth are in such bad shape that I'm scared about how much they're going to have to do to get them out. Oral surgery? Cut my gums? EEP!!! I pretty much wish that it could just be done. Just have my damned dentures already! I actually facebooked about getting my teeth fixed. I decided that I could be brave and open about how bad my teeth are and maybe draw awareness to the link between lupus and tooth decay. Maybe help 1 person not feel as self conscious about their teeth. Other people have to live like that too. You are not alone. I am not alone. I'm still trying to be brave enough to take pictures of the journey. I think I should weigh myself now and see how much weight I lose between now and the time I get my dentures! Well, I felt brave and I took pictures of my mouth. Something I have...

Having Borderline is Like Being Color Blind..... Kinda. Here's the deal: Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotion regulation personality disorder. At it's simplest form that means that a person with BPD has a very very hard time regulating emotion. And a really really hard time responding to stimuli properly. The reason we have a hard time responding appropriately is because we don't interpret reality the same way. We usually see it, but don't SEE it the same way, if that makes ANY sense. 😊 And this is where the color blind analogy comes in... Everyone has rods and cones in their eyes. The jobs of the rods and cones is to convert light to something the brain can understand so we can see the world. The cones are for seeing things in the light. Rods convert information when we're in darker areas. Sometimes, in people that are colorblind the rods and cones are there, but they malfunction. They see some colors as all the same-ish color. My dad, for example, ...

Well well. I've got to tell ya, I've had some awesome news recently and I'm still terrified about it. I have been having issues with my teeth for so long I don't remember what it's like to have nice teeth. I don't remember what's it like to smile and not think about it. I had lost all hope of ever having them fixed. To be honest, there was a point that I almost wished they would just fall out so I could be done with the pain. I have dental insurance now for the first time in over a decade, maybe 2. The problem is that even with insurance it's still super duper expensive for me. My mouth is rotten. It's sad to acknowledge and embarrasing. The last time I went to the dentist, they coudln't figure out how it was that my teeth almost appeared to be rotting from the inside. No matter what I did. Last week-ish I went to the dentist because my mouth hurt. Again. Which meant my ear hurt and my sinuses hurt. I spent days wishing I could cry, but I knew ...

My name is Arianna. I have Lupus. But I am NOT Lupus. I have a life outside of Lupus, in spite of Lupus.  So, I'll give you some background on me. :) This is the boring part, but I guess I've gotta get through it.  I go by Sunshine. I like to be Sunny. I am a 31 year old divorced mother of one 14 year old amazing young lady. I have a boyfriend that has stood by my side for 7 years. I grew up playing the violin and loving every instrument I could get my hands on that had strings. I don't play so much anymore, but I love music still. I listen to so many different types of music and it's always evolving. I love to make stuff. I have made boxes, wreaths, artificial centerpieces, tie dye, and anything else that I can come up with. I like to travel and I love music concerts. I work for an large online retailer and I LOVE it.  I got diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosis with Lupus Nephritis in January 2015. I had so many symptoms that were undiagnosed for so lon...